Grumble grumble. We are not happy creatures, we readers and writers of blogs. I like to imagine that I am going along the "long, slow, dismantling of the accreted wounds and habits that we are" (thank you k-punk), but yes, it is slow and it is long. And it is bound up with things that are ideological through and through. Like love. Ah, when I say the word then sometimes I spit venom. So this is why people become Buddhist. Renunciation probably does seem easier than the constant, reasoned interrogation of the self. To always be two, to be looking back upon oneself... Well.