So, on Sunday the final footnote was inserted and the last moral high horse climbed in what I believe I termed twenty years ago 'a teeny tiny essay'. This leaves me, for the first time since June or July 2005, with no outstanding work. I haven't noticed any amazing changes in my life so far. I haven't noticed the spectre of lingering guilt fleeing out the window. But I'm glad it's done with.
What I now do have is clear space to make a run at my honours thesis. So I've been sitting around reading Deleuze's Difference and Repetition
. It's - well, I considered saying 'unexpectedly tough', but I think I knew it'd be rather ... difficult
. All the same, it is pleasant to not need to be constantly elsewhere. This project will be big, but I'm happy it's mine for the next 7 months or so.
In other developments, I've been trying to teach myself things. The language of cats; how to buy laundry powder; the secrets of planning and keeping busy.
I'm not too sure as to what music I'd like to be listening to, either. I have some notion - from reading Deleuze I admit - that I'd like something filled with different intersecting levels of intensity, cool lines criss-crossing, with not so much sentiment and solid, foursquare stature as my usual pop diet. Something inhuman. With lots of difference and - er - repetition. Right now Ricardo Villalobos' "Fizheuer Zieheuer" is fitting the bill.
Because even though I can't listen to music that I know while studying and reading, sometimes a background of semi-regular noise can provide a nice cushion for thought to take place. Nothing that commands one to join in: I was doing well in the cafe in which I was studying today, for instance, right up until they started playing David Bowie - that is, music that I recognised. From that point on there was more absent-minded guitar strumming in mid-air and clicking than note-taking.
Alright, to read - Walter Benjamin on violence, for a lecture I'm "auditing" (is this the term that one uses to describe 'sitting in on a subject you're not doing'?) tomorrow at uni. Bis bald!