Of late I have often been assuring my friends, "don't worry, I'm not that sort of socialist."

But now I'm starting to worry. Perhaps I am that sort! I am hard-pressed to recall why I joined the ISO earlier in the year. Or to give an account of why being part of a socialist group is my answer to my internal imperative to "get political, political, I wanna get political, let's get political..." Those times that I have attempted to sell Socialist Workers, for instance, I have wanted to wear a big badge saying 'I'm Skeptical'. But then what good would my skepticism do? Certainly none for my image, if this is what I am worried about.

Was I really so swept away by the thought of the glamour of reading and discussing Lukács with people who want to draw practical lessons from these texts? And apply them? Was it all about the card and the gesture of taking a stand?

None of which stops me, of course, from giving a talk / hosting a forum thingo with 'these people' (she says, distancing herself from the group of which she is part) in a few weeks, entitled "'You can't change anything except the channel!' The Australian media and the production of political apathy." Unfortunately, at this stage that title is just about all that I have. Hmm. Maybe I have become (or 'am'?) one of those people that I used to lambast - those that speak about things that they know nothing about. Well. There's only one thing to do about that, isn't there? I need to read!

Which is, of course, why I am posting on my blog. Er...